The biggest news in the tech world today is Elon Musk taking over Twitter. He showed up last week, all business, and all smiles, carrying a kitchen sink.

As soon as the private buyout was finalized, other news broke out: Musk said 75% of staff would be fired. According to TechCrunch, he backed off that and said he had changed his mind. Either way, you are not comforted if you work for Twitter or even Meta.

But if you own an early to mid-stage tech company and are hiring software engineers, can I pluck one of those super-intelligent software engineers from the big tech company into mine? You smell opportunity in quickly changing conditions.

Do you have what it takes to recruit the best software engineers? 

Let's find out. We will see if you pass the stringent recruiting tests.

But first, a story is required. Recently a woman posted an informative video of A day in my life at the Twitter office. It's a nice short video. And whoa, what a palatial and posh day of work it was for her and her team. She walks into a gorgeous office with modern, colorful furniture, LED lights, and 65" flat screens. She first grabs an iced matcha to start her day of coding. And then, it is off to meetings with her team. There are iPads outside every meeting room pod, so you can reserve them for silenced pods and Zoom calls.

It is now lunchtime, and the Twitter buffet line she shows could easily be mistaken for a hip, 4-star restaurant. Our video guide says that she has Kobe beef and asparagus over white rice. I am getting hungry now.

After lunch, she shows us the football (soccer) table game area in case the dev team needs to relax between lunch and coding. She also tours us through the meditation and fitness yoga rooms. Another coding session means it's time for her afternoon Italian Espresso machine. She nails that. Then it's time to wrap up her day with a nice glass of red wine from a tap as she blows off steam on the rooftop patio with a game of cornhole.

Is this real? Yes, check out the video link.

As a tech company, here is the list of what you will need to woo these prospects and compete with Twitter. Can you pass the test?

1. Custom LED lighting in the lobby.
2. 'Connect Wi-Fi' instructions are on nine 65" OLED TVs.
3. Iced matcha served to start a good day of coding.
4. You have Silence Pods for Zoom and team calls.
5. iPad attached to the pods with software integrated with your calendar to show you're busy when you talk.
6. Kobe beef and asparagus are served in the kitchen for lunch (alternatively, West Coast shrimp and jasmine rice are also available).
7. Meetup area with custom woodwork imported from South America.
8. A Football table in case a dev team needs to relax between lunch and coding.
9. Meditation room.
10. Fitness room equipped with yoga mats.
11. Italian Espresso machine.
12. Red wine on tap.
13. Rooftop hanging out area with multiple cornhole stations.

(You might want to know that: Spotify in Stockholm serves beer on tap and does 'Prosecco Fridays') 

Opulence, excesses. Are you kidding me? The work amenities are more on par with the National Football League. You've got a startup or emerging business, and you're thinking ......'There is no way I can afford all of this.'

It’s okay. We’ve got you covered; here is how you compete. 

Outsource an entire software team to handle your projects. Get highly talented software engineers without all the "diva" extras. We, and companies like ours, take care of all our software engineers' needs so that you can focus on business and deliverables to your customers. We will not ask you for red wine on tap or a meditation room when we work on the project together.

PS. If you're interested in the legal aspects of why Elon Musk had to pay $44 billion to buy Twitter despite the loss of valuations in all tech companies in the last six months, check out Matt Levine's article in Bloomberg: Does Elon Musk know how mergers work.